Fear and Loathing in Second Life, part 1: I'm Gideon, Fly Me

I met Gideon Television at a tattoo parlor in Wuhan China -- one of those specialized niche tattoo places that will tattoo your heart with radioactive dye. You know, so that 'mom' or 'Molly' or, as the case may be, 'Amanda' shows up on your next post-gunshot-wound chest x-ray. We struck up a convo, and the next thing you know we are off mountain biking in northern Iraq. That's just how we roll. Chilling later on the Herald Yacht in the Persian Gulf I finally popped the question. "Yo bitch, I need you to write for the Herald." He said yes, and the rest is history. This is the first installment of series that GT has been posting on his Gideon Television site. If you can't wait to read more, then check out www.gideontelevision.com. --Uri

Gideon Television (Superstar) reporting.

When the pain of signing autographs and being recognized across Second Life becomes too intense, I like to kick back at Abbotts Aerodrome, where a parachute and aviator goggles afford me some anonymity. There's a whole range of things to do here, including piloting a variety of flying machines, skyboarding - even dogfighting. But it's the tranquil beauty of freefall skydiving that's my bag, man.

Here's me, hopping a skydiving pod to jump altitude. You notice I've selected a more casual look - wearing a $2000 silk jacket at 4000 ft is flamboyant at best.


Once you reach your chosen altitude, the pod spurts you out into the void like a celestial ejaculate. It's simultaneously serene and exhilarating - Nature's head rush, as you face Death squarely in the face, and Death realizes you're the prettier. The ultimate game of Chicken begins.


With the wind tearing the oxygen from your throat, you can barely mouth the phrase "Pull", as your heart skips the beat it takes for your chute to spreads it's folds. Then 1000 GideFans below let out a collective sigh in the hope that GDN.TV will once again grace their bedchambers.


The ground hurries to meet you like a well-kept stripper, the sun reflecting from the silver peaks that lap against Abbot's shoreline. Already the rush diminishes - I hate it all, but there must be more to hate than this.


Look, Ma, King of the World. But then, we all already knew that.
Until next time, this is Gideon Televison (Superstar), wishing you Peace.

Comments

[Razen Nefarious]

The Herald knows talent when it see's it..well either that or Gideon pulled a gun on someone at their office.

I can't wait to see more Superstar on here!

[Callie Lobo]

Wow! I tried this after reading your article and it was a blast!

[Dildo Baggins]

yawn. What's this? Another self-promotional wanker to rival Prok in the making?

[Arthur Fermi]

Yup, wanker is right. This is a few minutes of my life that I can't get back

[Gideon Television]

What would you have spent it doing, Arthur?

[Urizenus]

Gideon, I think you need to understand that for guys like Arthur and Dildo, a post like that with 257 words can eat up a *whole* afternoon even *if* they have a pictionary handy.

For the literate, what is really lost in reading a post like that? Well, for me it was maybe enough time to eat a half dozen Pringle's potato chips I suppose. And those were chips I didn't need to eat anyway!

So, on the whole I feel that your story made me a healthier person. But just a little healthier.