Aimee Bites the Hand!
by prokofy on 19/12/06 at 6:14 pm
By Prokofy Neva, Dept. of Rumours, Conjecture, Conspiracy Theories, and Inside Dope for Inside Dopes
Using her alter-ego Amy Weebler, Preen Prim Princess Aimee Weber, SL’s premier hypervent set-builder and metaversal marketeer, has published some very catty 2007 predictions!
Oh, it’s not that big dis on the Herald’s Conspiracy Desk writer (arson-o-rape-ocide?!) — it’s what she predicts about our very own Metaverse Magnate Philip Linden — and it’s not very nice.
Says Weebler, “Police will discover a dead hooker in the trunk of Philip Rosedale’s car. Torley Linden will break the news with the announcement: “Philip Rosedale helping troubled teens move on!” Ba-dump-chish.
Oh, that’s all wrong! Let us explain what it will really be…
….When found with the dead hooker, Philip will announce that .01 percent of all software manufacturers do experience dead hookers in the trunks of their cars and that 98.2 percent of hookers are not dead, and not in his car trunk. Torley will make a lightshow elapsed-time doctored texture of his press conference photo op and post it on Planet SL.
Say now, that was REALLY nasty about the Herald being called the Second Life Hearsay.
And no, we won’t be calling the Blingsider the JustLikeHitler-ider
No, we’ll just call it the Leninsider. That should do it!
Ktxbye!
Philip soaks his injured digits.
Chavo Polonsky
Dec 19th, 2006
Prok:
Aimee’s was funnier than yours.
Chavo
Hiro Pendragon
Dec 20th, 2006
Wow, apparently someone lost their ability to comprehend OBVIOUS SARCASTIC HUMOR. :p
Prokofy Neva
Dec 20th, 2006
Chavo, anyone can make dead hooker jokes. However, it takes a special kind of polish to make statistically-accurate dead-hooker jokes.
Hiro — yeah, I’ll say!
Gymshoes Toll
Dec 20th, 2006
I come to the Herald for news and updates, but recently all I find is injured pride and a fistfull of ´we can do better than you´. surely you can do better than that?
Prokofy Neva
Dec 20th, 2006
Hey, Gymshoes,k for news and updates, head here:
http://blog.secondlife.com
For insecure, injured pride and boatloads of “we can do better”, head here:
http://www.secondlifeinsider.com
I’m only counting like 2-3 stories like this on the Herald, but for some, it can be 2-3 too many!
All I know is, if Aimee tells a dead hooker joke about Philip it’s cute and precocious; if anybody else does, it’s lame and sick.
Urizenus
Dec 20th, 2006
Prok, you Wii-tard, jokes like that only work if you tell them about your own kind. In this case it works because Aimee just *is* a reanimated dead hooker that was found in the trunk of Philip’s hybrid. See? Now *that’s* comedy!
Prokofy Neva
Dec 20th, 2006
Uri — *even* Phoenix Psaltery thinks I tell a *better* dead-hooker joke. Go know!
http://www.secondlifeinsider.com/2006/12/19/amy-weeblers-2007-second-life-predictions
Yumi
Dec 20th, 2006
what is lenisider supposed mean please?
Chavo Polonsky
Dec 20th, 2006
I think we’re over-emphasizing the role of the dead hooker in all of this, when the real point of the whole thing seems to be a dig at Torley’s perennially upbeat spin. This is, for me, what made AimeeAmy’s joke funnier than Prok’s, in spite of Prok’s joke being grounded in vigorously researched statistical data.
$.02
Chavo
Urizenus
Dec 20th, 2006
He said Leninsider, as in Lenin, I believe.
And it *was* mean for Aimee to call us the “Second Life Hearsay.” That implies that we have to *hear* something before we say it. As if we aren’t creative enough to make the shit up ourselves. The nerve!
I hate reanimated dead hookers, especially when they have moustaches.
Brace
Dec 20th, 2006
poor phillys fingers… he dont type so good either…
Seola Sassoon a.k.a Random Writer
Dec 20th, 2006
I shall take my sword imbued with Divine Damage +20str +20sta +100hea +100pow and strike the reanimated hooker down, finishing off with a proc of Divine Death — 197-264 divine damage!
I w1n!11!!!
Prokofy Neva
Dec 20th, 2006
But I put a far more plausible Torleyism in my joke. Torley doesn’t just make announcements; more often than not she just publishes pictures for Planet SL to roll.
Hiro Pendragon
Dec 21st, 2006
Oh, sorry, Prok, my bad. I have a hard time deciphering your humor on blogs. Your venom for Aimee is so long-lived and deep, that when you claim you’re being funny, for some reason, I can’t believe you for a second.
So, in that respect, I’d ask Uri if the herald can adopt a policy of better tagging posts. This one could have been tagged “humor”. Not because it was funny, but because it was an attempt at humor, and people should have read it that way, rather than reading it seriously as you very well knew people would, Prok.
Oh, some more tagging you might consider using for your Herald posts:
“Libel”
“Bold-faced Lies”
“Conjecture”
“Incoherent”
“Irrelevant”
“Conspiracy Theory”
“Ramblings”
“Personal attack”
“Hearsay”
“Greater than 10,000 words”
Jesse Malthus
Dec 21st, 2006
Hiro: Applying that many tags might break the blogging software, better just settle with an “all of the above” for Prok’s posts
Prokofy Neva
Dec 21st, 2006
Nice one there, Hiro. You completely missed the venom that Aimee began *first* for me (read my well documented blogs on this problem), and took an entire prediction for 2007 up just on my persona and on some lame thing she said I’d do, I’m trying to remember. Go look. Declare something rapo-cide or something. It was totally obsessive and stupid.
I don’t sit back when things like that are done; I fight back.
I, after all, managed to get through my predictions without mentioning *her*.
Just a thought
Dec 21st, 2006
This is the internet – if you’re going to take something that is meant as a joke so seriously (mind you, there’s a difference between a joke and some of the crap seen on blogs and ‘newspapers’) then you need to log off and unplug your computer in lieu of seeing a shrink.
Jesus Mary and Joseph ….. the types of nitwits on the internet today amaze me:”freedom fighters”, drama Kings/queens, the insufferable know it all, the insufferable degree holder (which incidentally is nothing more than a slip of paper saying “Hey, congrats, you learned what we wanted to teach you and nothing more”), the snob ….. you name it, it exists.
The bulk of these types shouldn’t even have internet access let alone be allowed out of their cells …. I mean homes!
siggy
Dec 21st, 2006
Ah well, at least she came up with something to say.
All this is is an ‘article’ on someone elses article! – hell its not even an article.. its just a published opinion.. an editorial on someone elses joke.
Dead hooker jokes aren’t lame.
This is lame.
Urizenus
Dec 21st, 2006
Hiro, we considered those tags and even used them for a while, but we found out we were using them on every single article we wrote, so we decided they weren’t helpful.
chef eva tal
Dec 21st, 2006
My degree holders are baby blue and grey porcelain, tyvm. I think they nicely pick up the Cordon Bleu and Harvard emblems.